I know you’ve all been waiting anxiously for the second part of my first very first blog. I can see it now. You grab your lap top, you go right to cashmama2010.wordpress.com to see if Part 2 has been posted yet, and then you don’t see it!! You close your laptop in frustration thinking when is she going to post the second part!!!?!?!? I have to know if she told him that night or not!! You go to bed but can’t sleep wondering if it’ll be posted when you get up in the morning. When you finally fall asleep you dream about it off and on all night. You get up the next day and check wordpress every 20 minutes to see if it’s been posted. Fret no more my loyal and faithful followers. The waiting is over! In mere milli seconds you will read the nail biting ending to this dramatic moment in my life!!!
This is the thing…..I’m pretty sure none of this happened. I’m pretty sure as well that there aren’t too many followers out there. This is wishful thinking on my part. I’m the one checking my blog every 20 minutes. Ok maybe not that often. But often enough to hope against all hopes that there are people who want to read all about this dramatic moment in my little life. I might have to put a call into my therapist about this. I think my insecurities are coming out in my blogs. Eek! Ok so here is the dramatic or not so dramatic conclusion to
I get in my truck and I start driving towards home, As I’m driving I’m trying to decide if I should wait to tell Brandon or not. Should I worry him? Should I wait? I have to wait! He’ll be so stressed out! I can’t wait!! He needs to know! I’m not good at hiding things!! I’m sort of known for being far to expressive about everything. You know the saying “you wear your heart on your sleeve”? Well, I wear everything on my face. Meaning ANYONE can tell when I’m happy, sad, mad, worried. I’m not really good at putting on a brave face. Whatever I AM at that moment you can usually tell by looking at me. It’s a good and bad thing. So anyway, I decided that I would find Brandon and take him to Roundtable (his favorite pizza place) and maybe drop the pregnancy test in his pizza or something. Or maybe set it next to his pizza. Probably a little more sanitary that way. So I call him and he answers in depressed voice.
I say, “Hi Babe, whatcha doing”?
Brandon: I’m with mom at Costco
Me: Oh! Well, are you hungry? Cause I thought we could go to RoundTable to, uh, umm…just hang out or something”.
Brandon: Really? I’m here with mom and we’re on our way home soon so I’ll just see you there.
Me: I can come and get you right now if you want and we can go.
Brandon: No babe. I really don’t feel up to it right now.
Me: Oh..uh..ok. Well, I guess I’ll see you at home. Love you!
Brandon: Love you too. Bye
If you know Brandon then you should know that he NEVER EVER passes up a chance to have pizza. So at that point I knew he was super depressed and I decided I just couldn’t tell him I was pregnant.
I get home and no one is there. Only the dogs Dottie and Duff. So I told Dottie the she was going to be a big sister. She just looked at me and wagged her tail. At least she wasn’t stressed out about the situation. That is until the baby is born. So I did some nervous cleaning all the while trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I was pregnant and how I would eventually tell Brandon. I made the bed, did some laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and then Brandon and his mom finally showed up.
I was nervous. I didn’t know how to act around him. The air was charged with my own nervousness and lack of being “normal”. Brandon finally came upstairs and I gave him a kiss and asked him how he was doing. He said he was ok, but more angry then anything. During this time I’m trying to act like myself however I couldn’t stop smiling and being nervous. So then I told him to sit on the bed and hang out with me. He looked at me strangely and asked me why. I said I just thought you could sit down and talk to me about it.
It’s gonna get a little racy here. Anyway, he sits down and goes right for the boobs. Ugh! He does this often. I slapped his hand away and told him they were sore and to leave me alone.
Brandon: Have you started your period?
Brandon: Are you PREGNANT!?!!??!
Me: Close the door
Brandon: Are you pregnant!!??!?!
Me: Brandon close the door I don’t want your mom to hear.
Brandon: You’re Pregnant!?!?!
Oh my gosh!! Brandon falls on the bed and starts laughing. Just laughing. At least we had the same reaction when we found out.
Me: Are you upset?
Brandon: Why would I be upset?
Me: I don’t know. It’s not exactly the best time.
Brandon: Of course this would happen when I lose my job. No better time.
Me: I thought the same thing. So you’re not mad?
Brandon: Why would I be mad? It’s exciting. It’s going to be an adventure.
We sat and talked and he kept asking me if I was sure. Of course I’m sure! I grabbed the pregnancy test to prove to him and also let him know that I read the results right this time. He wanted me to take the other test later. Just in case, ya know. So I took the other test a little later and of course it came back positive. So here we are….about to embark upon a whole new adventure.
It was December 18th when I found out I was expecting and Brandon lost his job. A week before Christmas. Five days before family would begin arriving for our Christmas at the beach in Seaside. All of Brandon’s brothers would be arriving with their families. My mom would be driving up from CA along with my brother and his family driving from Idaho. I was 5 week pregnant at that point and we weren’t going to tell anyone yet. We thought we should wait until I was in the “safe zone” before we said anything. Then we thought we could tell everyone on Christmas day. We weren’t sure what to do. However, living with your in-laws makes it hard to keep a secret like that. So we waited………..