Restoration

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I woke up this morning to a packed out bed. My 6 and 3 year old crawled in some time early this morning. Even in a king-sized bed – four’s a crowd. I decided at 6:30 a.m. that it was time to get out of bed, and go sleep in their bunk beds. But at 6:30 a.m. the sun is already making its appearance, and my mind is already racing. So naturally I grab my phone, and jump on Facebook to get a daily dose of what the world did while I slept. I realized if I wanted to get my Bible reading out of the way I needed to do it before my littles woke up.

I hopped onto She Reads Truth to follow along with the Ruth Bible study. As I started the last portion of my reading I saw a verse I had highlighted some time ago.

“The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness”

                                                                                                                   Psalm 41:3

Two words were written next to that verse, and it took a moment to recover after I read them.

Uncle Larry

It’s been almost 3 years since he’s passed away. The road from his accident to his death was a long and weary road. Full of tears, questions, broken hearts, separation, and heartbreak. When there is tragedy, there is always restoration that is walking alongside it, and revealing itself in small ways. I know that during that time people found faith in God. I know that it made us cherish our family more. I’m sure there are stories I’ll never know about how in the midst of our families tragedy someone found life.

This is where I veer off course a bit. Although I know those things to be true, I struggled after my uncle passed. Struggle doesn’t do the torment I went through justice. I struggled more after his death then after his accident.  After his accident, I begged and pleaded and prayed to God to PLEASE heal him. Let him be a modern day miracle. Please, let him sit up from that bed fully restored. I prayed for 7 long years! My faith wavered, but never faltered. I HAD to believe God would restore him, because afterall, my aunt had passed not 2  years prior, to breast cancer. I felt like God owed us one.

During his time in his coma or whatever it was categorized as, there were a few stories of people who woke up from their comas after 2, 5, 9 years. I thought his restoration and healing were right around the corner. The months turned into years and still nothing. That’s not to say that he didn’t improve in small ways. He stayed with us for another 7 years.

He passed away right before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving! Can you believe that? While some family members were glad he was finally at peace I wrestled with God about it day and night. We were like a couple headed for divorce. I yelled, cried, and screamed at Him. I gave Him the silent treatment. I wished I never knew Him. I thought it would’ve been easier had I never had the hope he was selling. Ignorance it bliss, right? I cried so many tears. My uncles funeral was very surreal. I was going through the motions. Enjoying the stories about him, and wishing this was all a horrible nightmare. At the end, family was saying their goodbyes as they walked up to his coffin. I wasn’t going to do it, but I did.

I lost it a little when I went up there. I grabbed his hand, and it was cold. Nothing like the warm, huggable, tender-hearted cowboy that I hugged on so many occasions. Not the man that would pick me up and call me a sack of tomatas when I was little. Not the man that came to my rescue when I had car troubles. Not the man that walked me down the aisle, and whispered in my ear to take it one step at a time. Not the man that stood in as my father figure when my own didn’t have the time for me. I know he wasn’t in that coffin, but it shook me to the core when I touched his hand. I wanted to scream at God! WHY!!!?!?!?!?! Why did you take him??

Three years in November. Even as I write this I can’t stop crying. I miss him so much! My heart aches when I start to think about him. That verse!! So no God didn’t heal him. Am I upset about it? I was very upset about it. Am I still? I guess. I don’t really know anymore. If I could bring him back I would. I miss his one-liners. I miss his hugs. I miss his voice. I really miss that scratchy beard of his. I see diesel trucks everyday, and I think of him.

I wanted to say something profound about restoration here, but I’m struggling with even that. I’ll say this – Uncle Larry’s restoration is complete. Even if it’s not the way I wanted  it to happen. He is fully restored in Heaven with my aunt Liz and my grandpa. I guess my heart needs a little more restoration then I thought.

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I am a Christian

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In this world, today, I am scared. Fear is a present frenemy of mine, and I can’t seem to shake it.  We live in a world that is growing more and more violent. More and more intolerant. More and more separated. Those that tend to speak of unity, and “peace” seem to be the very ones that rip it apart, and hide behind the veil of rights for individualized groups.

Today, as a mother I am terrified for my kids. Because of the violence. Because of the hate. Because of the so-called tolerance, but a severe lack of it.

I am scared for myself, and my children because my faith automatically has others hate me. Even though, I’m labeled intolerant, hater, bigot, etc, etc. Which I’m none of. How far down the rabbit hole have we gone as a nation, as a society, when other beliefs have now suddenly been crucified as hate?  See what I did there?

I will openly admit that I haven’t told people I was a Christian, and I have not posted certain things I believe on facebook simply because I don’t want to offend those that have other views, but what does that say about me? Am I so scared of being hated by people that don’t know me? Am I more concerned with what others may think that I’m less concerned with what Christ thinks? Often times the answer is yes. That makes me sad. Because how am I to teach my kids the love of Christ, if I myself, am scared to admit I am a Christian for FEAR? For fear of hate towards me? For fear of what exactly?

I often wonder how I can teach my kids what the Bible says, and what God says when society is opposed to it. And increasingly so as the days go by. Trying to squash out Jesus as best they can. Especially in this state I call home, and from one I plan on moving from soon. California is trying to pass SB 1146. It saddens me. Does it awaken me? Does it make me realize that as Christians our time for persecution is fast approaching? That in America we have it cushy still; while others around the world suffer beheadings, torture, rape, and murder simply because they profess that Christ is their Savior.  If people would begin to realize that when laws are proposed and passed, that our rights,  our FREEDOMS,  are being squashed, simply because we believe in Christ –  it’s a scary thing. Not just for Christians, but for everyone. When the law suffocates the people,  we are all suffering. Regardless of what you believe.

So I’ll say this……….

I Am A Christian

I am broken and imperfect. My mouth is my biggest downfall, but can also be my biggest asset if I use it in a purposeful way. I do not hate anyone. I don’t have to agree with you. I don’t have to believe what you believe, but I do not hate you. The direction our culture is going ties me up in knots all the time. I see segregation and separation and it breaks my heart.

I look at the faces of my innocent son and daughter and I weep at night. I’m scared for their futures. I’m scared for their NOW!

I am a Christian. I want to strive to be more Christ-like. I want to be a better Christian. I need to be a better Christian. I believe in the Word of God. I believe that Christ died for my sins. So I’m stepping out, trying, believing, crying, praying, and not taking advantage of my current freedoms.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I needed to get these words out. There are so many more where that came from, but this would end up being a book that no one wants to read.

Basically, I want to strive to be a better Christian in a world or country that says it’s tolerant, but lack tolerance for those that don’t believe as they do. I want my kids to grow up, and know God’s love, love and respect others, but be strong in God’s Word. That starts with me, and I have a lot of catching up to do.

Reading Hosea – He is true King and Creator

It’s been a few days since I read Hosea. Right now my baby is sleeping, my hubby is working, & my son is with grandma.
I keep telling myself I have to read. I have to catch up. I’m going to catch up today. Three days worth of reading will be done today. An hour into my babies nap I figure I don’t have much quiet time left so I turn of the t.v. and set down my current crochet project. I walk into the office/laundry room/spare room & sit the computer to jump on She Reads Truth. I grab my journal & my Bible. I write down the verses that need to be read for one of the days I missed. I read & then I get back onto the site to read the study portion. I guess that’s what you call it.
Hosea 8 is about God’s anger with the Israelites. How they’ve turned other things into their gods. How they would cry out to him, and how they disregarded Him until they were up against it.

“They sow the wind
and reap the whirlwind.
The stalk has no head;
it will produce no flour.
Were it to yield grain,
foreigners would swallow it up.”
Hosea 8:7

It’s funny how I thought I was just going to read what I missed and sort of carry on with my day. But then I of course read what She Reads Truth had to say. What the focus was. And nothing is ever a coincidence. That exact verse is what the focus was about, and as always it shined a lot on exactly what I do. What everyone does.

Why did I miss 3 days of reading Hosea? I was tired. I was busy with my kids, with my family, with helping a mama out, with getting through my post partum doula manual, with crocheting, with checking facebook for the hundredth time, with the laundry list of things in my head. Not once did I think I had enough time to open the Bible & take the 10 minutes it takes just to get the Word into my heart.

The Israelites made idols out of inanimate objects. When I read about their Golden calf I think they are complete & total idiots. Actually I’m kind of getting off track here. Sort of.

As a mom I feel that I must constantly be on the go. Constantly be doing something. I’m caring for my children, my family 24/7. No days off. No sick time. No vacation time. No alone bathroom time. It’s literally a family affair when I have to go to the bathroom. Suddenly, everyone needs me right when I have to pee. Even the dog. No joke. I have no time. Then I get in this vicious cycle of what else am I supposed to be doing with myself? Am I supposed to be a SAHM forever? Do I want to be? Do I love it? Should I be a Work-At-home-mom? Should have this cute trendy business where I look super stylish & trendy with the cutest kids on the block? Do I learn to sew so that I can make the cutest trendiest accessories for babies the world ’round? Do I blog so that I can suddenly be discovered and be like the Pioneer Woman or The Busy Budgeting Mama or The Wellness Mama, or Nesting Place?? I wish I could be these woman. Do I study this Post Partum Doula Manual and start my own business helping mama’s through the 4th trimester? What do I do? There is a constant need in me or maybe I feel it because social media has created it. I don’t know. There is this need to do more or be more or focus 24/7 on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Esty, & the billion other social media sites out there. I mean EVERYONE has some kind of following somewhere & the more people you follow the more you’ll be popular. You’ll get out there in the sphere of knowing everyone, but knowing no one.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I get irate with my husband because he’s on his phone constantly. I mean constantly. I get so so so so so mad! But you know what…………I’m mad at myself because I’m just as guilty if not MORE of doing what I accuse him of. I do it obsessively. It’s kind of ridiculous. There has to be a support group out there for people who spend more time on social media then with REAL people. Don’t get me wrong. I know great connections are made through the interwebs. It’s just that all that connecting with people out there makes you disconnect from the people around you & with what should be the focus.

All of that said to bring it back to Hosea. They worshipped idols of their own making.
“They set up kings without my consent, they choose princes without my approval. With their silver and gold, they make idols for themselves to their own destruction” Hosea 8:4

This is what I DO!! I do!! Me! Right here! The mom in her yoga pants who is on facebook too much, the mom who wishes she was like those other cool trendy fashionista moms, the mom who hasn’t started that at-home business that everyone thinks she would be great at. The mom who feels so overwhelmed that she does everything else rather than pick up the Bible and connect with her Creator. The Creator that knows what she is capable of. The Creator that doesn’t expect her to be all & do all. The Creator who has a plan for her, and it might not be all the things she thinks, but that it might just be to be that awesome mom who spends time with her family, that focuses her time on Him, & shows her kids that Christ is REAL! That Christ is the way, the truth, the life!

So then that verse rings in my head again:
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When will I spend more time on what will nourish my soul?

When will we stop sowing the wind and reaping the whirlwind?
When will we stop tending the stalks that grow no grain?
When will we stop being swallowed up by our idolatry?

I can easily put an “I” where the “we” is. When will I???

Reading Hosea – We return but He comes to us

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Usually after reading Hosea for the day I can’t stop my fingers from flying across the keyboard, but tonight is different somehow.

Twos verses stood out to me:
Hosea 6:4 “What can I do with you, Ephraim?
What can I do with you, Judah?
Your love is like the morning mist,
Like the early dew that disappears.”

The last 2 lines of the verse are what struck me. Their loyalness and faithfulness only lasted as long as the dew lasts in the morning before it evaporates. I could only relate it to myself when I leave church on Sundays. If I go at all that is. I feel His presence when I’m there. When I leave though is the test. Life gets to me. Life breaks me down. Some created because my constant worry or my constant need to push myself or rely only on myself or whatever it may be. I walk out of church and it’s like I immediately zone in on the 5 million things that I have to get done when I get home. The list of things that need to get done during the week and so on. And just like that my faithfulness has evaporated. It happens that quick sometimes. I mean in the blink of an eye I feel it all falling in on me. My kids see it. I want them to see something else. I want them to see the spirit of God on me everyday. I know the “life” happens, but I want them to see that HE is life. I want them to see me go to Him when I feel shackled to the everyday. I want them to not see a frazzled mom, but a mom that takes it to God and rolls with it. Anyway, this verse is not lost on me. I see myself in it.

Which leads me to the next verse. Initially this didn’t knock the wind out of me or start a blubbering sob fest. It took a bit of time to percolate before it really got under my skin.

“So he got up and went to his father. ‘But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and he was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” Luke 15:20

This is about the Prodigal son. The sheer joy and break from custom that this father showed when he realized his son had returned is kind of unbelievable. I sat here on my couch re-reading that verse and trying to imagine one of my uncles doing this. Trying to imagine my husband, my Uncle Larry, my Uncle Steve, or even my brother running towards me with pure joy all over their faces. I started laughing out of the ridiculousness of it. I wish I could say it was a small voice or a loud voice or God started texting me, but it was just this quick whisper of a thought ” Can you imagine me doing that for you?”

Can you imagine that? I’m trying. I’m really trying. I feel like there’s a battle going on with what I know. With what I’ve been studying. With what I can feel, and then there’s the other part where I can’t imagine why God would love me so deeply. It’s something still so hard for me to comprehend and yet I know logically he does. Is any of this making sense?

That question is on a loop in my head. Each time I try to picture Christ running towards me. CHRIST RUNNING TOWARDS ME!!!! Even that part is hard for my brain to make into a picture. Then he throws his arms around ME and kisses ME! It’s like a feel a brush of a kiss when I think about it, but it’s not a reality that I can wrap my brain around. But oh how I want to collapse into His arms, and cry a million tears that I cry alone. How I want to fall into his lap, and tell Him I’ve always believed, but sometimes Satan chewed me up and spit me out. Oh How I want Him to know that even when I doubted Him. Even when I was angry with Him that I still believed it’s just I didn’t always keep my eye on the ball.

Reading Hosea – When we run He is in control

So I opened my Bible tonight out of sheer obedience. I can’t say that anything really knocked the wind out of me. Nothing really grasped at my heart and made me “see the light”. Maybe it was the fight I just had with my husband. That’ll knock the wind out of your sails and want to say WHATEVER! Maybe is was my day training for my Post Partum Doula Certification and helping a mama out. Maybe it was my tiredness of washing yet another dish. I’m finally seeing why bachelors just buy paper plates and plastic ware. Even right now with the profound words I just read I’m still half asleep.

Yet I still feel the need to acknowledge that I read the next Chapter in Hosea.

If I could just copy & pastes this whole chapter it would be worth it. It’s about Israel’s sin & Their complete lack of faithfulness to God. Wow! Even right now reading it to (Sadly) refresh my memory of what I read makes my jaw drop. I mean this is beyond ridiculous! Even the priests were like, “Ya I did that & bought the t-shirt”. I mean they weren’t even following God. They weren’t even teaching God. They were doing what they wanted too, and the Israelites were like, ” Well, that Priest over there is doing it so it must be ok”. I mean if a Priest jumped off a bridge would you do it too?

Hosea 4:5
“You stumble day and night,
and the prophets stumble with you.
So I will destroy your mother -“

A complete disregard for God. For the things of God. Sounds like our world today. If I had to be truthful………

If I had to be truthful….. then it sounds like me. I mean really if I had to look deep into my soul. My disregard for God may not be in the way of the Israelites. By no means really. But it’s a disregard nonetheless. With that being said after I finished reading the chapter I than went on to read the little blurb that She Reads Truth has about what was just read. These are the morsels of truth that kind of woke me up to what I was reading. The meaning behind it all.

“The chasm of sin grows wider and we run faster, but our God changes not. He is still sovereign, even as we flee.”

“God does not force Israel to stay, for forcing is not the way of Love.” Forcing is NOT the way of LOVE! Bam! Seriously, BAM! I often and way too often wonder why God just didn’t make us do what he wanted. Why did He give us free will. IN the end it seems like such a tragedy that the world has turned into what it is today. Or even what it was during Hosea’s time. But this little line made it click. I mean what does anyone get out of forcing one to love them? Certainly not love.

The these 4 lines made my heart stir. HE CHERISHES US!
“We are sinful. He is steadfast.
We are fearful. He is faithful.
We are broken. He binds up.
We cherish idols. He cherishes us.”

And then this one is my favorite. I should have this tattooed on my wrist so I see it daily.

“His love and affection toward us do not change, no matter the depth of our sin.”

This one is hard for me to grasp. Think of the things we’ve done to God. Then imagine that someone has done those things to us. Could we still continue to love? Could we still continue to pursue? Could we still continue to cherish? I don’t know. My humanness can’t fathom that.

Reading Hosea – “I will betroth you to me Forever”

So I’ve gotten behind in my reading already. I know I know. Right this very instant I’m catching up, but then my mind started going and I had to get it out my blogging. Of course.

Oh Hosea!!! This guy KNEW he was going to marry a chick who would not be giving sexy time only to him! HE KNEW THIS and he still married her. God told him Gomer is going to tell you you’re the only one, but you won’t be. You’ll be shattered. You’ll be heart broken. You’ll be angry, But….. you’ll forgive her time and again. You’ll take her back. Because you LOVE HER! MIND BLOWN!!! I mean who would do that?? Think about it. Your spouse has done the UNTHINKABLE. Shattered their vows. Basically spit in your face, and after all of that. After all of the heart break, lies, shame, and anger. You place your arms around your spouse and say I FORGIVE YOU!!! I don’t know about you, but I’d be more likely to punch my husband in the face then to forgive and stay with him. At least that’s my initial reaction!!

As I’m reading Chapter 2, yes, like I said I missed a few days. My throat starts to tighten up and I’m trying to hold back the tears. I’m really trying to put myself in that place and then I realize that this is God! That He LOVES me this much! That all those times I’ve “cheated” on Him He still wants me back. He forgives me no matter how much I’ve done to break His heart.

Do you SEE?!?!???! Do you see what Gomer did to Hosea?? She even had children from other men. Such a disgrace & he took her back! God has done this so many times, and I Still struggle with embracing WHO HE IS!! I still can’t believe that anyone much less God could love me unconditionally, and He knows EVERYTHING I’ve done. Everything I think! Even as I type this I’ve taken many breaks to grasp what my heart is beginning to understand. In this moment. Right now. I’m hoping is sticks.

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This scripture broke me down. I was reading along. Ready to move on. Ready to read more of the Bible study and BAM! Just like that this verse knocked the wind out of me.
“I will betroth you to me FOREVER” Hosea 2:19

I don’t know what that means to you, but to me it just blew me away. He wants me forever. He Loves me forever. He will fight for me forever. I am Gomer! HE is Hosea!!! And yet HE LOVES ME!!

Reading Hosea

If there is ONE thing I’ve learned as a mother. It’s this: IT.IS.HARD.  This doesn’t mean that it’s not full of love or tender moments or realizing that this is the BEST thing that you’ve ever done. It just means it’s all of that wrapped into one.

Since becoming a mom I’ve realized a few things. I’m a MOM!! I promise you’ll have that moment a few times a day and many times a week. I look at my 4 year old and 16 month old and I kind of have this moment where I realize for the millionth time that I’m in fact a mother to 2 very amazing and adorable little people. Another thing which I’ve stated is that it’s hard. And yet another thing that I’ve found important is raising them for Christ.

I’ve fretted over how I was going to do this. How can I make my kids be like those other little kids that can say verses word for word & know the love of God? How could I be that mom who saturates her kids in God 24/7? I’ve wanted to be those moms. I have failed miserably. I’ve learned that you can tell your kids this & that, but if they don’t see you do it. If they don’t see you live it then they themselves won’t do it. I’m the worst when it comes to reading the Bible. THE. WORST. I will even go as far as saying since having kids it’s been worse than that. Which I never thought possible, but it’s possible. Trust me! I’ll pick it up and start a Bible study only to set it to the side and never finish it. Hello! I have more important things to do like wash the dishes, laundry, change diapers, dust, make appointments, worry about my husband finding a job, worry about the lack of money coming in, worry, worry, worry……………………………….. I come from a long line of worriers and I’m winning!

I’m sort of getting off track here. I struggle daily with a lot of things. Wanting to be a good mom, wife, friend, Christian, person. It’s been a rough year. I’ve struggled with God. Or fought with God. Or went between what’s the point to look at what He’s done for me.  I honestly feel like my kids have seen it. They might now have understood it, but it came out through my crying or yelling or just not trying. In those moments when I’m talking to God or trying to understand why things have happened the way they have  I end up coming back to what I know. God. Christ. What He’s done for me. 

I desperately want to be in love with God. I yearn for it. I feel like I don’t know how to get there. I feel like the walls are in place and because of that my kids can feel it. See it. Hear it. I don’t want my kids to grow up not knowing what God can do, not knowing the LOVE of God simply because I can’t wrap my brain around it. I want to raise them for Christ. I don’t want it to be words in my mouth. I want it to be a reality.
So because of that I thought I would pick up my Bible again. I thought I would open it and see what He has to offer. I went to shereadstruth.com and figured I would just read whatever they had on tap for this week. Instead I randomly picked a Bible study to study. I’m that person that likes to close her eyes & put my finger on a verse in the Bible in hopes that God will magically speak through that scripture. I’ve landed my finger many a time on those verses that read something like (this is the land of ‘ites) and thought well what am I supposed to get out of this?? Today however I randomly chose one of their studies and I chose Hosea. I wasn’t expecting it to be any special message from God, but I think that it is. And I’ll tell you why.

“If you feel like a mess today, the book of Hosea is for you”. This is me EVERYDAY.

“If you long to love Jesus more, but there are idols towering over your head and heart, the book of Hosea is for you”. I imagine that my constant worrying could very much be an idol. I mean I focus on that much more than I do the Word of God or I don’t know anything else.

“……….and you wonder if He’s walked away, the book of Hosea is for you”. I have felt the void of God for close to a year now. Since the death of my uncle and I’ve had such a hard time getting back to where I think I should be.

Maybe this is what I need. I’m going to finish this study. I hope someone holds me accountable. Maybe through this I can begin to finally see God. See my kids being raised how I want them to. Not because of what I say to them, but because they see me live it. They see me open my Bible. They see me BELIEVE it. Now isn’t that the proof.

We’ll wait and see………………

Road trip, wedding week, & fun with family Part 1

We packed up our stuff and headed out on our 1st road trip in over a year. We were Idaho bound and it was going to be interesting traveling with a 4 yr old & 15 month old. Ordinarily I would’ve scoured Pinterest for travel activities in order for my kids to have educational options rather than slap a movie in the DVD and hit play. This road trip I threw some books in a bag, toys in a travel toy box, and some DVD’s for them to watch. Those items helped us get to our halfway point where we stayed in a hotel. Apparently, hotels are the coolest thing since Disneyland to 4 year olds and 15 month olds. My kiddies were so wound up we didn’t get to sleep until 10ish pm.

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The next morning we quickly realized we were no longer in CA. Although I’m happy to be in cooler weather and away from the ridiculous hot temps CA is experiencing right now.

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The next day we finished our trek to Idaho with some stops along the way & some beautiful scenery.

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Once we arrived we quickly headed to Uncle Tony’s house to see him. Cash loves his Uncle Tony. Talks about him All. The. Time. As soon as he saw him though he got shy. After our visit with Uncle Tony we went and saw another one of Cassius’ fave people. GABE!! 🎶Reunited and it feels so good🎶. You know you’re singing it.

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Tonight was the Wedding rehearsal so the boys got to break in their cowboy boots. What better way to break in your boots then dirt and rocks.

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While they rehearsed many pictures were taken.

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Tomorrow the wedding……..

Manic Monday

This is where she ate soap

This is where she ate soap


Today is Monday………………..

I feel like I don’t need to write much more because everyone will understand. For some reason I also feel like I need to put this out in the blogosphere and get it off my chest. Maybe it’ll make me feel less anxious.

Today was filled with busyness on my end. I spent the whole day applying for CalFresh or what others call…… food stamps. California is trying to spin it in a positive light or some kind of light, but nothing is more difficult then to come to a place such as this and not have some kind of shame or frustration or embarrassment. Yes, I just put that out there. Food Stamps. This is where I’m at in my life right now and it is hard. My husband is currently unemployed and wouldn’t you know it I’m a stay-at-home-mom. It is really hard to write it, to put it out there, and yet that’s what I’m doing. The hubs is actively looking for work, and applying for everything in his field. I have dusted off my resume and I’m trying to explain my 4 year absence from the work force. I’ve sat and stared at my computer screen a lot more than I’ve freshened up my resume. Which means I’ve stared at it, typed, erased, typed, erased, and then walked away in frustration to return to it at some later date.

So there’s that. Then my knight and shining armor watched our kiddos while I did some exhaustive work applying for CalFresh. Who knew you had to have the blood of your first born child on hand to get this stuff???? You don’t, but it certainly feels like I should have that on hand just in case they need it. Gah!! I did sort of forget something important. I never ended up getting my daughters birth certificate after she was born so now I have to go to the county office to get that. Fun!! It’s only been 15 months. No biggie.

To really understand my day it went something like this:

6:50 am: Eisley wakes up crying & screaming “Mama, MAMA, MAAAMAAAA, MAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
I ignore her. Although she’s right next to me in her Pak N Play

7:00 am: Cash starts stirring & waking up. Eisley hears the sound of his movement and begins to cry for me more.

7:04 am: I turn over & grab her to lay next to Cash and I. This is where I should explain that I stayed at my moms last night because the house we rent has some “issues” with lack of insulation and the house heating up like an oven no matter how much the AC runs.

7:30 am: We finally get out of bed. I quickly rush breakfast so that I can get home & start ticking off things on my To Do list.

9:00 am: Get the kids in the truck, drive home, & I don’t remember what I did.

9:25ish am: Get home drop all our things in the living room and start bustling around, Laundry, sweeping, feeding kids.

9:30am – 2:30pm: Hole myself up in the office/spare room/laundry room (Multi-purpose room)
Spend FOREVER applying, scanning, typing, hitting the back key too many times where it logs me out completely & I have to start over. All the while Eisley is screaming MAAAAMAAAAA A LOT. I did take a break to put her down for a nap & grab something to eat. Oh I did some laundry too.

2:30pm I come out of my cave & realized I haven’t grocery shopped and I don’t know what we’ll do for dinner.

3:30 pm: Panic cause I still haven’t made a grocery list & we don’t have much food in the house. Manage to figure something out for dinner. Meanwhile I send Brandon to the store to buy Alfredo Sauce & French Bread.

3:30-6:00pm Cooking dinner, more office work, and playing with kids, changing diaper, etc

6:40pm : Dinner is over.

7:00pm: Brandon heads out with Cash to take him to the park while I bathe Eisley. This is when she ate soap & cried the rest of the bath

7:30-8:00 Bath over, she peed on me, & story time.

8:00-10:00 pm: Both kids fought bedtime & I still haven’t written out my grocery list.

That was my day & I know you all are excited I stopped to write about it. I feel better. 🙂

And then she peed on me

And then she peed on me