I can see her. She is fearless. Worn by time. Worn by life. Worn by fighting the unseen. Striving to always be good enough. Trying to fight the battles she hides from others. She has fought through years from one side to the other.
In the beginning………….
She was full of fear. Full of questions. Full of tears. Wondering what the future held. Wondering why these things had to happen. Questioning. Always questioning. With each question she received no answers. The silence filled her up. She began to wonder if there really was an answer to any of her questions.
And then………………..she laughs without fear of the future.
I love this verse Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
The first time I read this my throat tightened up and I could barely squeak out a word. Tears fell from my eyes and I looked up and prayed to God to make me just like her. Strength. Dignity. Beautiful to me. What struck me was she laughs without fear of the future. SHE LAUGHS! Laughs as if whatever the future holds will not phase her. Will not sway her. Will not cause her to stumble. Will not falter her. Anything and everything can come her direction and SHE. LAUGHS. I try to imagine from my lense what that could possibly look like. I can’t quite see it. For fear has seemed to set up shop in mind, heart, and soul.
I imagine that she was once like me. Fearful of what could be. Fearful of what has already happened. Fearful of what she knows is to come. Fearful of the present. A laundry list of fears. Yet she has come through it and …..”she laughs without fear of the future”.
When I grow up I want to be her.